Today

I am so busy at work. When there is the sleeping urge then I have to take a nap. I wish this sleeping urges came around at home but they go away as soon as it is time to go home and they ware off. The nap sometimes is so deep and in that short time I think I even see dreams. Sitting upright on my chair and going to sleep.
Last night my lungs stopped functioning and I couldn't have dinner. Today I smoked only four cigs that I really only puffed without actually smoking them. Life seams so boring. I NEEED a change. It is so boring sometimes that I even don't think about suicide!?
I could do with a bit of deep laugh. Those laughs which came and did not go away until it paralyzed us down to the ground. Like those which I remember we had at school. When I have such a laugh my muscles feel so relaxed and it is then that I realize how tense I really am. I hate statues of seriousness (some of them are around me) but I am turning into one myself. I used to see the funny side of almost everything. Perhaps I should change the way I see things a bit. Have a look at this.

"It is by Yvonne"
TV is on in the other room at work and others are watching football. "Pass the shit you f.ing so and so" They are calling. See you next time.
Feelings: Numbness, anger, bored. Sort of floating.
Depression: I don't know whether it is gone or still there.