Out of The Shell
Is it a mania? ….. Is it a depression?
No, it is the super bipolarman!
It’s been two days in a row that I feel myself again. Normal I think. As I had always been. After a year and half I feel I am out of it. My sense of humor is back. Well from outside you could not see it. A serious looking businessman with as enough laughs as it is appropriate for the occasion. The change is within. The meds still continue and my sleep is very well adjusted. Sort of back on track. The meds do not do miracles but they sure help it happen. They help me to help myself. I am sick of nagging and want to live to the last bit of it. For one and half yesr moods have fucked and now it is my turn. I’ll bite back.
If I can’t do anything about it I might as well enjoy it. It has ridiculed me for a while and I am going to ridicule it now that I still can.
I gathered as much help as I could get, from others and turned their ideas into maneuverous practices. Do not know how long this is going to last but it is here and now that is important. I feel right and am going to keep it as far as I could. I have put some valves to control the energy within though. I must not waste it. This here is a reflection of what is going on inside.
Now , is it mania? Couldn’t. my sleep pattern is just right and I do not think I am a supper human with out of limits abilities. No racing thoughts and goal seeking ideas and ever switching ideas. Just a normal guy.
Is it the depression? Couldn’t be. I do not feel all cramp curled within and I do not want to escape everything and stay in a dark corner.
Is it some sort of schizophrenic attack coming back after years? No couldn’t be. I do not have the idea of saving the world and certainly do not think am as important as being followed by secret services and spied on by sophisticated intelligence devises.
It is that I do not want to be treated as a typical scientific case and being labeled “BIPOLAR” and put aside going through a routine. Well I continue my meds as prescribed by my doctor, God bless him. He doesn’t treat me like a routine case in the text book. He adjusts the meds to work for me.
The meds (this is for Tom Land Cruise) and the help of my doctor and the support of those who care and even the shortest (but greatest) comments I received in my blog and the fact of bloging itself and myself, I am back on track.
Tom! You don’t know what you are missing!
It is not his fault actually. Most probably the depression he is talking about is only a “deppy” compared to the “DEPRESSION” we experience. How can one come out of a real one without the meds. And the side effects are tiny compared to the pain.
Tomorrow I am off for two days of vacation on the mountaintops.
No, it is the super bipolarman!
It’s been two days in a row that I feel myself again. Normal I think. As I had always been. After a year and half I feel I am out of it. My sense of humor is back. Well from outside you could not see it. A serious looking businessman with as enough laughs as it is appropriate for the occasion. The change is within. The meds still continue and my sleep is very well adjusted. Sort of back on track. The meds do not do miracles but they sure help it happen. They help me to help myself. I am sick of nagging and want to live to the last bit of it. For one and half yesr moods have fucked and now it is my turn. I’ll bite back.
If I can’t do anything about it I might as well enjoy it. It has ridiculed me for a while and I am going to ridicule it now that I still can.
I gathered as much help as I could get, from others and turned their ideas into maneuverous practices. Do not know how long this is going to last but it is here and now that is important. I feel right and am going to keep it as far as I could. I have put some valves to control the energy within though. I must not waste it. This here is a reflection of what is going on inside.
Now , is it mania? Couldn’t. my sleep pattern is just right and I do not think I am a supper human with out of limits abilities. No racing thoughts and goal seeking ideas and ever switching ideas. Just a normal guy.
Is it the depression? Couldn’t be. I do not feel all cramp curled within and I do not want to escape everything and stay in a dark corner.
Is it some sort of schizophrenic attack coming back after years? No couldn’t be. I do not have the idea of saving the world and certainly do not think am as important as being followed by secret services and spied on by sophisticated intelligence devises.
It is that I do not want to be treated as a typical scientific case and being labeled “BIPOLAR” and put aside going through a routine. Well I continue my meds as prescribed by my doctor, God bless him. He doesn’t treat me like a routine case in the text book. He adjusts the meds to work for me.
The meds (this is for Tom Land Cruise) and the help of my doctor and the support of those who care and even the shortest (but greatest) comments I received in my blog and the fact of bloging itself and myself, I am back on track.
Tom! You don’t know what you are missing!
It is not his fault actually. Most probably the depression he is talking about is only a “deppy” compared to the “DEPRESSION” we experience. How can one come out of a real one without the meds. And the side effects are tiny compared to the pain.
Tomorrow I am off for two days of vacation on the mountaintops.
posted by Radin | 2:38 PM
2 Comments:
Oh Radin, this is fantastic news! I hope this feeling of being yourself again continues on and on and on without stopping. Enjoy your mountaintop vacation. Sounds lovely.
Though late this is. I just smile.
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