The problem is over

A short time after I started my blog the problem started. I could not get into my blog or any other blogs I frequently visited. At last I found the reason to be the filtering which is going on here. I contacted the service provider and explained these sites should not be filtered and convince them to open access. Now I can continue.
Over the last week or so I have tried to work on my relationship with my wife. What triggered it, I may discuss later. I have decided not to let my moods control my life. What I do is just do what is right despite the feelings I have at the time. Sometimes it is hard to distinguish between normal everyday feelings and modes dictated by the disease. She is not responding well to the changes but I guess she needs more time to adjust or understand the new situation. The challenge is hard on me and I am using a lot of energy but I think it is worth it. I do not want to live the rest of my life like this. Nowadays I wake up earlier, prepare the breakfast and try to leave the house together with my wife. Building up a long lost relationship is quite hard because it involves sometimes going through bitter memories or just try to forget the past but it is not impossible. What bothers me most is that I do not know her feelings towards me. All she says is "it is positive." I don't know how to interpret that. Is it love (I don't really think it is) or is it just a shallow feeling towards someone you live with and respect. I'll have to wait and see the result of my efforts. I try to act normal and yet I am full of anxiety and distress. I feel I have lost her. I have reasons to believe that. I have found things about her that worries me but I am not sure about it. Next time I am taking her to my doctor. He said he would try to help. Repairing is a hard job.
Last week we went to my mother-in-law's village for holiday. It is a small mountain village at the end of a winding country road. She has this little house there. My daughter loves it so we decided to leave her there with her grandmother for this week. My wife talks to her on the phone two times a day. Last night she was very disappointed because my daughter was too busy playing and only sent her regards. "Send mom my regards" she said to her grandmother.

Radin's house was a brick house on a busy street. Not much traffic but the street was full of children. Especially in summer. The houses looked almost the same and neighbors all knew each other. In the middle of the street was a small grocery shop which belonged to Mr. Shok. He was uneducated about forty and his love for money was quite evident. His house was behind his shop. Sometimes his father would run the shop. A very tempered old man who said what ever came to his mind. One day one lady went to buy some cooking oil. "This is not the brand I want. I want X" she said. "They are all the same shit" he had told her angrily.
Radin was very thin with blue eyes and blond hair. He was the only child in his family who didn't go to school so he spent the day with her mother. He was about three or four and it was very boring to stay home all the time. Her mother was always busy cooking, washing cloths and cleaning the house. Sometimes when she went shopping she would lock him in. Until he made his first friend, Nazh. She was the same age, very kind and playful. His second play mate was fatty A. A fat little boy who laughed all the time. He loved dried bread. He would soak it in water and eat it like he was having a steak. In those days there were a few people who owned a refrigerator. They had this "Mr. ice-man" who came every day with his donkey loaded with ice. A small bearded man who made funny faces at children and made them laugh. There were many criers who passed the street selling things like bread, fish, fruit and even chicken. Some of them traded old cloths with china. Radin's mother had collected many china plates and saucers this way. She was very dedicated to china wear. Bit by bit she would complete her collection by giving away old cloths.