Vicissitude: Bipolar Disorder and its ups and downs

This is a diary of present and the past by a man who being Bipolar is just part of his life Each post is in two parts first is everyday diary and second is a kind of continuous diary of my past

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Being Bipolar is just part of my life.

Monday, March 05, 2007

The potential powers within

If you just think about it you realize many potential individual abilities within. Bipolars feel that more than others. That can be in the fields of Art, Politics, Sports, Business or power of communicating with others and so on. It is vital for Bipolars to bring to surface what abilities they feel they have. Well it can not be achieved overnight or just by using suggestive techniques. They are short-lived. And we can’t go around dreaming about it or imagine we have them. They are potential but not trained or active.
The depression and mania are on either side of a balance.

Fighting depression with meds much stronger than the depression leaves us with an extra high feeling that will make the mania go higher in the cycle. So depression meds should be carefully selected and the dosage just right with the help of your doctor. The little extra depression we have to live through and as I did just ignore it.
How? I made some codes to follow when under depression. Codes I made when active and functional. And told myself: “I must not forget to follow them because they are good for me and that the decision has been made when I was functioning and so can not be wrong.” These are some of the codes.
“I go to work no matter what the feelings are”
“I pretend I am OK and talk to people even if not interested”
“The people do not understand my situation and if they did they just feel sorry and that won’t help me a bit”
“I follow some other people’s action and reactions although it may seem strange to me at the time.”

And the mania if higher than controllable. Moderate medication with your doctor help.
“I control myself going through long explanations on the current subjects.”
“I preserve my energy on more creative personal activities than just waist it to prove I am on top.”

And all the time thinking about positive sides to my being high and use that energy in the right way.

I do not become so conscious about my ups and downs and do not relate all of them to my being Bipolar. Other people feel the same during a normal day.
You sometimes come across people who are active and full of energy all the time and look alert but, others just take that as it is and are convinced that they are just that way.

It takes time and effort but it is worth it. If you think you can write, paint, do sports or what ever just start. You will be guided by your inner aspirations to do so like, any creative artist or businessman or …. Your brain works much faster than others and moves back and forth from what you have in store and the outside world but, you have to be careful not to be mislead by the reality mirror (illusions) because then you just move back and forth between your illusionistic reality mirror and loose contact with the actual world.
In that case the brain is playing games within itself and the result is irrelevant.

The medication must not kill the feelings but just control them a little and the rest is our job.

3 Comments:

Anonymous CARLA said...

Radin,
Thank you for writing your blog! You are speaking directly to me...drugs just sedate and derange me. I am going to start (again) writing, painting, creating...thank you for permission and encouragement to do so! Please keep writing...I am here ready to read. :) have a good day...damn I so hate faking though when I wonder if I can even make it 'til dark:) CARLA

March 05, 2007 7:50 PM  
Blogger Sara's Sad Alter Ego said...

I'm glad I finally found a blog of someone who is kind of like me about the whole thing...determined not to become chronically disabled, and working as hard as possible to do as well as possible with sleep, light, and exercise.

Looking forward to going back through your site to see what kind of work you do, what else you say.

November 07, 2007 9:39 AM  
Blogger Roop said...

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February 15, 2009 8:43 PM  

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