Summer holiday
I was away a few days for my summer vacation. We traveled to the north sea. Next time I will send you pictures. My sister and her family. My brother and his family and us. We spent time by the sea on the sandy beach and went to the jungle where we had chicken barbecue for lunch. We had all these young people around us (my nephew and nieces) which made the atmosphere so pleasant. At nights we stayed up and played "find the mafia". It is an interesting game. I will explain it later if you are interested. It doesn't need much, just a few cards. After we came back I took my family to the mountain village where we have a small cottage for the rest of their holidays and drove back home myself. Last night I went back again to bring them home this morning. I am now at work and all I wana do is go home and SLEEP.
I am going to check on what I might have missed in blogs I frequently visit. By the way I have set up a blog for my daughter so that she can write her diary there. I help her with it. She keeps a diary and always writes down her experiences. In case you have children of same age they can visit her blog and perhaps become friends. The address is http://bluespaceship.blogspot.com . She loves it when she gets comments there.
Two weeks ago I went to my doctor together with my wife. No change in my meds and he believes I am doing fine. The moods do change now and again but I do not let them effect my life. I just ignore them and accept them to be part of my life. It is not easy but I have managed so far. Yesterday I realized that I was questioning the very reason of life but then got over it and said to myself to relax and not look for answers and go on with it. What is the use of going into the philosophy of life when I am not even well equipped with the necessary knowledge? Those who claim they have answers after so many years studying are not sure themselves.
"Follow me" said the wise man, then he walked behind.
I do not want to feel old but I sense I am being dragged into the strange dark cave of feeling old. I know that it is only a feeling. I don't mean that I do not accept getting old. It is a natural biological change. It is that I hate feeling I am nearing the end. Why should I feel that I don't know? I don't want to remind myself this. I just want to live life as it is and as long as it takes. I have lost much of my life energy along the way of my disease. I have to regain it somehow. Perhaps some physical exercises would help.
Until next time with some pictures of my vacation and other daily stuff bye.
I am going to check on what I might have missed in blogs I frequently visit. By the way I have set up a blog for my daughter so that she can write her diary there. I help her with it. She keeps a diary and always writes down her experiences. In case you have children of same age they can visit her blog and perhaps become friends. The address is http://bluespaceship.blogspot.com . She loves it when she gets comments there.
Two weeks ago I went to my doctor together with my wife. No change in my meds and he believes I am doing fine. The moods do change now and again but I do not let them effect my life. I just ignore them and accept them to be part of my life. It is not easy but I have managed so far. Yesterday I realized that I was questioning the very reason of life but then got over it and said to myself to relax and not look for answers and go on with it. What is the use of going into the philosophy of life when I am not even well equipped with the necessary knowledge? Those who claim they have answers after so many years studying are not sure themselves.
"Follow me" said the wise man, then he walked behind.
I do not want to feel old but I sense I am being dragged into the strange dark cave of feeling old. I know that it is only a feeling. I don't mean that I do not accept getting old. It is a natural biological change. It is that I hate feeling I am nearing the end. Why should I feel that I don't know? I don't want to remind myself this. I just want to live life as it is and as long as it takes. I have lost much of my life energy along the way of my disease. I have to regain it somehow. Perhaps some physical exercises would help.
Until next time with some pictures of my vacation and other daily stuff bye.
posted by Radin | 2:27 AM
6 Comments:
Glad you're back Radin. I think there might be a young bloggers network of some sort. I'll write to someone I know & ask. How cool that you're helping her to write.
Dear Jane
Thanks for your concern. Please let me know about it. The young bloggers.
Glad you managed to get away for a summer vacation. It's good to get away sometimes....
I would be interested in knowing how to play "find the mafia".
Polar
Hi Radin ... I often feel the 'age' thing ... though, of course, I AM getting up there! Not too bad yet .... just 59.
But I started feeling old when I was in my early 20's due to be partially disabled because of a car accident. I've lost a lot of my life too .... and it is hard to reconcile having lost so much with feeling as if the end is near. My father and a half brother both died at 59 because of heart problems ... and I have had a bypass operation ... so I feel that added prssure.
I think .... that whatever we face in life is as it is supposed to be ... whether it is what we would have chosen for ourselves or not. I totally believe we are here to learn lessons ... and that what we face in life helps us to learn those lessons and that they are specific to each one of us.
It isn't easy facing our own mortality. Sometimes I am ok with it and others I'm not. Sometimes I just want it to be over ... the struggle has been hard. And other times I'm nowhere NEAR ready ... and feel I have much yet left to give and to experience.
I think it is human to feel this way. It is what takes us above the level of the animals. All you can do is live each day the best you can ... and then learn from it and let it go.
Smile ... life is beautiful ... even in our pain ... just look at your daughter!
Radin, your words are very familiar to me, words to which I can relate. Years ago I was diagnosed as ‘Bipolar’; the moods, the questioning, and all the things that tag along.
“…questioning the very reason of life…” is natural and I venture to say that everyone ponders this at some point during life. Who is equipped with the necessary ‘knowledge’ to question such things? No one is and everyone is. Great philosophers have tackled the question for centuries, coming up with intuitive speculation and insightful reasoning. But the end result yields no concrete answer. Science can offer little; the purpose of life can’t be measured, catalogued, or proven through empirical research.
But it is very human to ask, “Why am I here?” I agree with mama mouse; her words ring so true. Things happen for a reason. We may not understand why, but maybe we’re not supposed to. I think, “…living live as it is…” is a wonderful way to approach daily living.
Stay well
Beautiful words, toughts.
And nice blog.
Greetings from an italian blogger
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