Vicissitude: Bipolar Disorder and its ups and downs

This is a diary of present and the past by a man who being Bipolar is just part of his life Each post is in two parts first is everyday diary and second is a kind of continuous diary of my past

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Being Bipolar is just part of my life.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Bipolar and me

It's been a hard task for me ignoring the moods and just going on with my life but it is paying off. In my previous posts I tried to ignore it even in my writing. Well this is to say that it has helped me and it might help you, too. The feelings come and go and I am getting used to them and am not so sensitive about them and take them as not being me which is true. I am not as sensitive as I used to be towards others as well. On the other hand I speak up my mind and do not care about the consequences and just practice on my relation with others. I still have my panic attacks and my good and bad days but they seam to affect my daily life much less. I not only accepted but also believe that Bipolar Disorder is a chemical problem in the brain and that is that. I have separated the normal feelings I have from those caused by my disorder. I mean if one day I feel down it doesn't necessarily mean it is to do with being BP.
Blogging has help a great deal and also going through other blogs, BP or otherwise.
I have also worked in making positive and permanent changes in me. Not by going into details of psychological explanations and theories or trying fast resulted methods of working inside my head, like positive thinking or things like that but, by taking action in real life, restoring my relationships which I think is important because it is part of the real everyday life. And by experimenting practical changes.
My view of life used to be a very hard one and I took everything so seriously. I know things in life are real serious but I have eased my views a bit.
Like my doctor said once. We look at the sky and say to ourselves, oh that is beautiful. But in reality it is not beautiful. It is so frightening. We are on a piece of rock in the middle of space and amongst so many galaxies. Going round the sun. so it is much better to just say what a beautiful sky rather than think, well what is it all about. I am not against deep thinking but not all the time and about everything around us. It has its place sometime and someplace in our lives. It is true about what goes on in our brains, especially if we suffer from something like BPD. Well we are BP and these are the results of what it does to us. But I have my life, my responsibilities and have to work and try to live a better life and improve and even have to involve in the competition of life and be part of the race. I have and understand my abilities and I know I can do better than some. But also I accept the limitations. I expect from myself things that are with accordance to what I really am and of course if needed I will try to add to my abilities.

5 Comments:

Blogger Diana Crabtree said...

Thanks for the post. It is good to see things are working for you, and it's inspiring for the rest of us to keep working at it too :)

September 28, 2005 11:10 AM  
Blogger elvira black said...

I like to ponder life and do enjoy "deep thinking." However, I'm getting better (most of the time) at looking at other people in a less personal way. One time, a friend and I were dissecting people at work and how messed up they were. She said to me, "it helps me sometimes if I pretend that I am from another planet looking at earthlings and simply saying to myself--'What strange things these humans do! How curious they are!'" So I guess this is my way of trying not to take life too seriously.

October 01, 2005 1:38 PM  
Blogger jane said...

You have such good insight about being bipolar. Larry King had a program about bipolar people and a lady mentioned this type of nonconventional treatment: http://www.orthomolecular.org/
I haven't studied it, but I am going to start, I just found it tonite.
I wish you'd think about joining our webring for bipolar bloggers. You've got so much to contribute Radin, it would be a pleasure to have you in our group.

October 02, 2005 1:16 AM  
Blogger Marta Vinhais said...

Finally, I'm able to visit you and leave you a message.
Glad you like my blog; I have just left there a message for you.
Hope you read it.
I'm afraid I don't know much about what bipolar is, but I do think you are quite brave.
Stop by my blog any time you want.
A hug
Marta

October 03, 2005 2:55 AM  
Blogger dan said...

My therapist has used that exact same story of the sky with me... Funny!

October 17, 2005 7:24 AM  

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